People with poor public etiquette

On account of the fact that I spend much of my time in the city, I’m often around a plethora of strangers which for the most part, is not so bad. However, there are some people who really bother me, and to them I say:

Dear person who sits on the aisle seat of a full train, making that free seat in between you and the person sitting on the window seat barely accessible,
Despite my social awkwardness, I will step over your lap and squeeze into that free seat. This will probably result in our butts touching. Deal with it.

and to that dear person who stands on the right hand side of an escalator, disabling me from walking up or down in a rush,
I will stand right behind you and if you don’t get the hint, I’ll say, right into your ear: ‘scuse me! and brush past you

Thank you for your lack of consideration

Freudian Slips

A Freudian Slip will never cease to humor me. It’s pretty clear that Freud is a bit of a nutter but according to him, these verbal slips are linked to the unconscious mind.

So the other day at work (which is super busy on account of The Avengers) as i was innocently ripping tickets and directing customers to their cinema I had to repeat an almost-identical phrase hundreds of times:

Hi there! How’s it going? … Okay, you’ll be in cinema 6 up the hallway to your left!

When its that hectic at work, I can’t help but jumble up my words.

Hi there! how’s it going? … *looks at ticket* oh, Hi there! you’ll be in cinema 6 up the hallway to your left!

I promise I’m not crazy. Then all of a sudden, out of nowhere:

Hi there! how’s it going? Okay, you’ll be in cinema sex…

Woah now, really? My initial thought was to diverge into a New Zealand accent:

Just in cinema sex up the hallway brew!


But still, I’ve got to admit, Freudian slips are pretty damn hilarious.

my favorite: